Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
