billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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