i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
