I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
