It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
