Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
