So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hippo gnu deer
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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