No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
don't judge my taste in strippers
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
