his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
How external is "for external use only"?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
