On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
