I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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