So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
