i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
