Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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