Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
