Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
