I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
