ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i love accidental penises.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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