He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think my tv is drunk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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