Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
