Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
