Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
