hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
try to milk me bitch
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