And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
