Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
