Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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