We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
