youre lurking in front of me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
