his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
