But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
