oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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