Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
