he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
