I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
are you so shy because you have an std?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
