highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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