This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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