i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
