shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
