My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
