Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were destined to go to rehab together
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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