I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
