Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
