Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize