She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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