you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
