If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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