Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
