all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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