I feel like abortions should bother me more
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
