Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
