Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
