I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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