i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
